dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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