I met the friendliest cop last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize