Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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