i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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