There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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