You're so nebulous sometimes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
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Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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