Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you win again, gameday.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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