I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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