we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize