Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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