Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize