I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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