We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
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You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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