twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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