At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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