Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize