I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
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she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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