My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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