she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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