You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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