Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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