belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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