Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
why is half of my head shaved?
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