She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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