YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize