I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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