Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's never too late to be topless.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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