get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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