Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize