i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The power of my boobs compel you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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