my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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