I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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