Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize