I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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