i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I smell like Dick and happiness
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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