i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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