Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
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