He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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