dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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