I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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