If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm passing your future prison.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The air taste purple.
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