you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
