I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize