I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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