he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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