Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize