just tell him i said nine months
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
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I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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