my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize