i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize