if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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